Sure, your future has just disappeared in a puff of smoke and you’ve just realized that you’re going to have to work until you’re 90 in order to pay off your part of the part of $700 billion or so that the gov’mint might or might not vomit on Wall Street (not to mention all the war ca$h!). You turn to the Wall Street Journal, your only source of help and information in these troubled times. And what do you find? Mega Man. A pink Mega Man. Big as life and bright as a poodle, rocking a charged-up blast from his Buster cannon. And you know what? You smile. Your day is suddenly that much better. You reconsider hurling yourself through the window of your office building while clutching your lasted 401(k) statement. Instead, you plunk down what may possibly be your last remaining ten dollars on Mega Man 9, comforted by the fact that you’ll never actually finish the game, thereby receiving a near-infinite return on your amusement investment.

Mega Man 9: stronger than the American economy and twice as likely to give you a heart attack.